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Dickie Betts Fired! Is Nothing Sacred?

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McCain Showing that He now
has BOTH Thumbs out of his Ass


I'll insert something clever here later. In the meantime:

Thinking He could convince American Voters that the 2K Presidential Campaign is simply a Movie he Stars in, Senator McCain gives his Review of such after only 10 Weeks of Location Shooting -- and before the SuperTuesday Fiasco. Following his former Wins, McCain headed straight for his Ranch near Cornville, Arizona, to discuss Strategy with his Longtime Neighbor and Political Confidant, Ms. Dusti Kemper. Unwilling to Shave his Head & Go for the Ventura "ChromeDome" Look as Advised, North Dakota, Virginia & Washington State and his campaign in general, fell by the Wayside.

Q: Why are All Blonde jokes One-Liners?
A: So Men Can Understand Them.



Shuttle Endeavor Lands With Mapping Goodies to Sell to Highest Bidder; CIA Black-Ops Due for Windfall



Ore Deposit Locations Re-Affirmed with Upgraded Heat Sensory Mineral Locator Software developed by an Upstart Internet Website in Association with Cisco / Sun MicroSystems. 3D Mapping of Earth's Surface to add More Realism to Annual NATO "War Games". Generalized Mapping Version to be released to Public.

Mr. Bellis
A Kansan



Yeah, that's right. I probably wouldn't Vote for Him either.

Former CIA Director John Deutch, Longtime Activist of the Internet's "Work at Home" Movement



Classified and Top Secret Communications & Documents were recently Purged from Deutch's Home Computer, Proving Once Again "You Can Take It With You", until you get caught, that is. Deutch gets slap on wrist. Chinese Guy facing Hard Time for similar offense at Los Alamos Lab. [ "Uh, Alex, I'll take "Double Standards" for 800, Please" ]


Future President McGwire Upon Learning of Deutch's Careless Computer Antics



"You would think, I mean, like, he shoulda Read the Pamphlet better. You know, the one each new CIA Director gets after Senate Confirmation".

Cancer, The Crab "Cardinal Water" Sign of the Zodiac



July 4th, 1776. The 'Birth' of the United States of America, with The Sun @ 13-Degrees Crab, Cancer, Moon Child.

USA
Presidential
Seal



Letterhead Sig Rights currently going for approximately 400 Million Dollars North American for a 4-Year Lease. Re-Up Option
--> Caveat Emptor...


"Candidates without Ideas, hiring Consultants without Convictions, to run Camaigns without Content".

...Gerald Ford, June 1969


Has anyone ever noticed how much
Gerald Ford resembles Horace Mann?
Well, just let Tommy Smothers comment on that one!